Today, feeling lost and alone, I went to the park to really ground myself and have some 1:1 time with God. Past experience has proven to me, time and again, if I am feeling lost and alone then I am disconnected from my Source of Being. That which fuels and animates this body of mine; That which gives my heart it’s beat; That which is connected to All That Is.
You see, there’s so much change happening in my life right now and it’s bringing up a lot of old emotional patterns that are being released.
I spent a good amount of time lying on the park bench, soaking up the sun, asking God for direction… pouring out my heart… looking out over the lake… contemplating life and my next moves in it.
Finally, I got in my car to leave… tears flowing down my cheeks... reminding myself that in the end, all we really have in this world is ourself and God… and that, when I turn my vision back to God and let That lead me, I am always on track… and no matter what happens in my life or how bad it may feel in the moment… as long as That is leading me, it’s all going to be okay; maybe in ways I can’t even see in the Now.
As the tears flowed, I allowed the old parts of me to fade away… and, just as God has always been there for me, twice more I was reminded that I am never alone. Two people showed up, unannounced, as if to hear God’s calling through space and time… to let me know, yet once again, that I am never alone on this journey. God is always right there; acting through my surroundings; to hold me and comfort me and move me forward to the next step on my path.
Suddenly an old & dear friend reached out to me, all the way from India. He mirrored my relationship with God and myself, very well. “I feel like there is a barrier between you and me lately”, he said, “as if you have walls up.” Oh, indeed. It has been a long time since I brought down the veil and opened my heart to God in this way.
Soon, my phone rang, and my dear friend sat patiently on the other end – 8,431 miles away – and lovingly held the space for me to talk through my tears and give a voice and vibrational release to all that I feel has been plaguing me lately.
As I observe myself talk to him and pour out my fears and frustrations, I am aware that it is all a product of the human mind; that part of me that is not of God. On a soul level, I KNOW all is in divine order, and I am blessed, and it’s all going to be BEYOND okay! I know this beyond a shadow of a doubt, even as I sit with the pain of releasing the old programming that no longer serves me; my mission; and the Greater Good.
I explain to my friend that I watch it all go on in the mind, like a battle field… and I know that there is nothing outside of me that is going to make it better. No answer; no action; no deed. The only thing there is to do, is hold myself with compassion, while this wounded part of me cries out for love. The only thing there is to do, is to sit with the pain and experience it fully as it rises up and leaves my body. The only thing there is to do.. is to give that wounded part of myself the love she is so desperately crying out for. It is only then, that it all transforms.
My other option, is to avoid the pain all together by placing my focus on something or someone outside of myself… which only serves to keep the pain pressed just below the threshold of consciousness; allowing it to rule my life eternally… keeping me dead to the causeless joy, bliss, emotional freedom and Love that I am at my Core.
No thank you. I choose life!
I thanked my friend and I hung up the phone. As I began to type this, the second person showed up.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Startled, I turn to the passenger window of my car to see a stranger staring back at me. She motions to roll down my window, and so I did.
“I don’t mean to be creepy, but I noticed you were really upset earlier”, she says, “and I just wanted to make sure you’re okay”.
As I look into her eyes, even I see God looking back at me… acting through this young, beautiful woman, to let that wounded part of me know, I am never alone. Indeed, I never have been.
And THAT, my friends, is what I am grateful for today.
What about you? What are you grateful for this day? What would happen if, over the next while, you looked for ways that God acts through your surroundings to move you along your path in this life? What would become available to you, if you were to view life from this perspective? Or if you already view life from this perspective, how has it shifted your Being?
If you find this post inspirational, please share it <3
#ThankyouGod #NeverAlone #AlwaysWithMe #AllForYouGod